8:56 PM - Tuesday, Apr. 03, 2007
Rambling 3 year update.
Wow. I haven't written in here in over three years. I don't think anyone would still be keeping up with me, but who knows? Why did I stop writing in here? Because a lot changed and I didn't want to talk about it, and then of course there was that whole taking on Livejournal thing and then Diaryland became a distant memory. It's not as ~mesmerizing~ to keep an online diary anymore, it's kind of old hat now, so I guess I just became uninfatuated with the idea. Oh well. It's nice to know it's still here, at any rate!
Random but I remember when I paid for a super gold account and I had to mail them an international money order cause they are in Canada and now I laugh at the nontechnological ways of Diaryland. It's cute.
Anyway. So what's going on? George left me, a long time ago, three years now. We're still married, but that's because he's too lazy to really work and get the money to divorce me, and since he's not sending his checks home anymore, well, I don't have the money to pay for it! So we'll see. It's on him to get it done, I could care less if it ever happens. Know why? Because he also has a baby now, with another woman, the woman he took on his truck two and a half years ago after he left me because he couldn't deal with me and my health anymore. Honestly. Good luck to that kid, the man wouldn't know how to love anyone let alone his own child, he's so socially retarded. So he can't marry the kids Mom, legally anyway, which is fine by me because fuck him and fuck her and fuck their bastard child. I do not care how bitchy that makes me seem, he promised me his life and devotion and when it got too hard he bailed, so he basically deserves absolutely nothing from me, not even compassion or understanding. Fuck him violently. Plus, the longer we're married, the better benefits I'll have when I'm 60 and drawing social security. True story. I know this because of Granny. Oh, and you know, if he died, his life insurance policy would go to me, so that's a perk :)
I just don't care. I don't plan to ever get married, ever again, and frankly, I think he should be forced to pay alimony and take care of me the rest of my life like he swore he would. The sad thing is he probably also left me because I couldn't get pregnant, and if he had stuck around and been, oh I don't know, a man, he would have gotten me pregnant because the medicine I was on was helping fix a lot of my problems. Oh, but now I don't have insurance anymore because he took it away from me, so I don't get to take any of my medicine, even my antiepileptic medicine, so that's just fucking great, right? Asshole.
Anyway. That's it. There's nothing more to write. I still live with Ted and Laura, they at least care about me, and my life is mediocre at best, miserably depressing at worst, and I've pretty much given up on life. You know, maybe this diary is useful, I don't feel like I can be open and honest in my LJ because of the people who read that. This really is like a little out of the way place to gather the thoughts I can't share. Nice.
Hope everyone is doing okay. ♥
